Listening to: Let that be Enough [Switchfoot]
How bad is it that I only touched this blog because I wanted to get a new one in before the end of the year! And of course update you about whether anything ended up working out or not…
My last post back in May, told you all about how I was still facing my share of trials but I was seeing things happen that was only possible because of God, and I could recognize that. My last post also told you how I started a whole new type of journey, with a great guy, in the middle of all the chaos that was going on LOL. Update: the bf and I have been on that journey for 7 months going on 8 months…and it has really been something of an enjoyable but challenging obstacle course! Something new seems to pop up for us to deal with ever so often, even if it’s not centred around us in particular…nonetheless, we both see it as some serious life training and it’s good that we’re learning how to weather stuff together from early on. I’ve also discovered that I have the ability to be mushy (>_<); I had to work past cringing everytime it happened (still do occasionally), because NOT being mushy was my M.O. for years- but y’know, I’m getting comfortable with actually embracing ~*~*~*~*~emotions*~*~*~*~ bit by bit.
SO enough of that! My new adventures-in-romance are not going to be what this post is about…
Instead I’ll just attempt to summarize how much this year felt like the sentiment in the highlighted song…One of Switchfoot’s earlier work, off their New Way to be Human album, wayyyy back in ’99 (I was 9 years old!) – Let that be Enough. This is still one of my favourite Switchfoot songs to date. The first time I heard it was actually in the movie Model Behaviour…it captured the sombre mood of the scene and I thought it was gorgeous. When I finally got to listen to it carefully, I realized it’s such a simple song, the guitar line is so beautiful and the words could have very well be written by me, I relate to it so much.
Jon Foreman, Switchfoot’s frontman sings:
“…And it all seems so helpless and I have no plans; I’m a plane in the sunset, with nowhere to land…”
That’s what I felt like for most of the year. I couldn’t solve my situation on my own, I was stuck in it, I couldn’t control the outcome, it was inhibiting what I was able to accomplish and I didn’t know when it would come to an end. I was watching other people’s lives seem to progress in the way they wanted, and I was “stuck watching history repeated”. By the time it crawled around to my 27th birthday, though I was treated to a wonderful surprise orchestrated by my awesome friend, featuring my family, bf and close family friend (at a sushi restaurant! yummmmm~), there was still an overwhelming feeling of, “rats, another year closer to 30 and you’re still not where you want to be because of all this crap”. Honestly, this year to prevent myself from becoming depressed throughout all the chaos I had to echo Jon’s prayer:
“Let me know that You hear me, let me know Your touch; let me know that You love me, let that be enough.”
It literally was GOD who carried me through this year and allowed me to maintain some level of sanity and even joy. And what happens when I actually focus on God’s love for me and purpose through all of this? I stop seeing it all as “crap” in my way, and I see all the things I’ve learned, the strength I’ve gained, the favour I got from others in situations where I wasn’t supposed to even get through with and the good things that happened to me even in the mess; including but not limited to: learning to love someone and allowing him to love me, expanding my circle and getting my youth group out there a bit more, getting the opportunity to sing with more people, dancing in public after not having done that for years (and getting complimented for it lol), getting (good) free stuff [^_^] and getting to eat sushi that I LOVE after not having it since I left college 5 years ago. For every stressful moment, there was a memorably wonderful one. I’m thankful for that.
Knowing God loves me and letting that be enough, changes my entire disposition and leaves room for me, in the middle of it all, to see the current blessings and the future bigger picture. And yeah, just in case you were wondering, one of those major tough spots I spoke about earlier this year? It worked out. It wasn’t how I thought it’d happen, but it happened. Happened good too; in a way that has me settled for at least another year. Bless GOD. Thank God that He loves me enough to work things out for my good even if it may not be how I imagined it. Thank God that He loves me enough to strengthen me, even when I’d rather not go through the circumstances needed for me to be strengthened. Thank God that He loves me. When I start to feel discontent, let that be enough. When you start to become discontented with your life, let the fact that God loves you, be enough. Amen.
TL;DR – It was a rough year; one of the roughest for me in my 27 years of life lol…nonetheless God brought me through and worked things out…even slipped some amazing moments and opportunities in between there. Allowing God’s love for us to be enough, puts things into perspective and makes you grateful vs miserable – try it next time you feel like everything sucks. Let that be Enough by Switchfoot is a song most anyone can relate to, it grips the heart and slips into your ears, while leaving you with a simple but potent prayer.