MomentMusic [Jul-03-17 9PM]

Listening to: Breakdown [Epik High]

I’m annoyed.

LOL! What a way to start a post huh? But that’s exactly what I feel right now, annoyance, and it’s a bit more prolonged than I like. In fact to be more accurate, it’s annoyance with flickers of anger; but get this! It’s for a stupid reason.

In addition to my pet peeve of things being done unnecessarily/me being forced to do unnecessary things, I’ve discovered that I’m impatient. I didn’t know that I was! I put up with just about anything usually…but it’s so evident lately that when people act in ways that I just can’t understand or that makes no sense to me, especially when it makes me then have to adjust my actions/schedule just because of them, I am BUGGED and I show it (well I show it only to the people who I guess, see everything – my family). It all comes back to what I deem as necessary or not. The thing is, I see the problem with this because I know that everyone is different and has different reasoning from me…and if I get annoyed when I can’t grasp a certain type of reasoning because it doesn’t fit with my logic, then what kind of life will I have? What kind of Christian will I be?


K, got that out of my system. See, I don’t have too many people like that in my life, but they do exist and for this reason I gotta deal with it.

In Breakdown, a Korean Hip Hop song by Epik High, the climax of this already charged song, comes towards the end; here they borderline yell these lyrics (in English) and boy, I can RELATE:

I don’t wanna see like you and, I don’t wanna be like you and,

I wanna be FREE, so break it down!

I don’t wanna think like you and, I don’t wanna stink like you and,

I wanna be ME, so break it down!

I have no problem with the concept of adjusting your behaviour, changing your actions, conforming for the sake of peace and compromise…but I’ve discovered that I only have no problem when I see the necessity in doing this (for example, when someone is ill, or circumstances prevent someone from doing or being any better so I must adjust to help them). If I think someone is merely being emotional, nonsensical or flat out immature, I start to take on a very cold approach because “they should know better” or “that doesn’t make any sense and they ought to correct their way of thinking”. Lol. Like Epik High, I want to be me…but I think I want them to be me too! I don’t want to think like people, I want them to think like me, because I’m the logical one!

How selfish is that?

The funny thing is that my Mom is one of those people who thinks in a very different way from me. I love her DEARLY but sometimes because of the aforementioned reasons, we butt heads (especially if she’s making me do something that I think is, say it with me, unnecessary)…and then because of her nature, she gets in a mood that I can’t BEGIN to understand. PLUS, she takes AGES to get out of it…whereas, in a couple of minutes I’m over it and ready to move on; you can probably imagine that this really brings out my impatience and it seems to get worse as I get older.

Y’know what’s even funnier? My beloved boyfriend can also get a bit “moody” from time to time. Now, even though we’ve been together over a year now, I still consider this relationship “new”, so I’m giving my best effort, kinda like how you cradle a new device so that you don’t damage it and I think I’ve dealt with his moods relatively well, on the few occasions it has happened; but have I responded well to him because of the freshness of young love? What will happen in the future? Will I eventually get impatient with him too? Will that make me the disgruntled, nagging wife?? Will there be constant warfare in our household??? Will the kids know us as “the sad dad and the miserable mom”???? Would my impatience completely RUIN MY FAMILY THAT DOESN’T EVEN EXIST YET!?!?!?!?!

Teehee, that last bit might have been an exaggeration, but is it really? The concept is very real and has wrecked many a family and relationship (of every kind), I don’t want that to happen to me. Most people justify why they are the way they are and why they don’t need to change. I can’t do that here. I recognize that it is HARD to change; I also recognize that I need to, for the sake of peace. Some people are right brained, some are left brained; you apparently have introverts, extroverts and all the people in between…everyone can’t be impatient with everyone. Something or someone’s gotta give; that’s Bible truth.

Guess I have something else to pray about; God help me.


TL;DR – Ryan Higa, one of my favourite youtubers, did a skit recently about Over-dramatic people and how they annoy him; but he eventually wrapped it up by saying that they’re people too and they simply think in a different way and that we need to learn how to deal with them. Whether people are over-dramatic, emotional, sensitive, moody, “complex” or whatever, I share Ryan’s sentiment. I’ve gotta work on it, and pray about it. Also Epik High’s Breakdown might be mildly aggressive, but for all you gym-rats/beefheads, it makes great workout music!


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